I had no idea what you were going through. I've researched and researched and educated myself to no end. Just trying to make sense of it all. Now i understand you and what it takes to keep you safe away from those feelings and the anxiety of impending doom to your character. I know you tried to tell me but i thought you were just being weird and demanding of silly nonsense from me. I didn't know how important it was for you the reassurance so there would be no character assassination. I'm so sorry that i didn't understand so long ago. I love you and if i had only known how essential it was for you to receive compliments to just feel ok. I would have been your three times daily booster. I feel like I failed you! When you needed me i wasn't there. I'm sorry and I wish I could go back and fix it all. I'll always love you! April 24,2021